Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
