direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Randomize
