quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dick very happy bro
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
