he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
