it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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