I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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