i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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