I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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