thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
