So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
