I heard we made out
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
