Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
