The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I did not marry a roomba.
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