so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
