so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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