thus making me awesome and them whores
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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