The maid of honor just puked.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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