Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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