Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just wanna be euthanized
I just jacked off to nostalgia.