Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock