Even the bartender felt bad for me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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