Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.