That's intense
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
