Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
