Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
