Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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