when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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