I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
