WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
