my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
