I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
