I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
