...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
