Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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