So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
