please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
