I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
