the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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