I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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