What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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