I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
