and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
