google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
