He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
