My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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