if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
