Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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