I'm going to jail i love you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
