I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
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that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
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You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I deserve this hangover.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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