I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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