I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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