it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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