Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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