Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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