I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize