WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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