Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
