Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
