I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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