my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
