Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
