I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
