so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
